Expectations in Relationships
People will never live up to your expectations. If you expect your pastor, parents or friends to be what challenges you spiritually you may be disappointed. Some pastors, parents and friends will challenge you…I’ve had great experiences in all these areas, but not 100% of the time.
THE BIG BUT >> God will never disappoint you! Even in times when I have felt like God was silent he’s been moving and pushing me in ways that I didn’t understand. If you focus your attention on God you may realize that the expectations that you placed on your pastor, parents and friends were well intentioned but misplaced. Hopefully you will also realize that when they don’t meet your expectations you have a great opportunity (or even responsibility) to be an encouragement to them!
WARNING SIGNS OF UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS…
…of your Pastor: When you find yourself complaining that your pastor doesn’t “challenge” you, or the classic “I’m not being fed.” Maybe you’ve gotten to the place in you walk with God that you need to feed yourself and God has a BIGGER challenge for you. Solution: Look to God to “Feed” and “Challenge” you and either get on board with the direction your pastor is going or get out of the way.
…of your Parents: When you blame them for where you’ve ended up in life. You may have extreme circumstances, but eventually you have to take your own credit for your own actions.
…of your Friends: I guess if you are complaining about your friends then either you or they aren’t really friends. Sure they’ll make you mad along the way, but real friends are sticky. So I guess the real question is, “Are YOU really being THEIR friend?”
IMPROVE AS A PASTOR, PARENT & FRIEND
Communicate Expectations Clearly >> Don’t just say what you expect of others but allow them to know what they can expect from you.
Don’t Avoid Accountability >> Don’t avoid accountability from those around you. Allow for the open/responsive communication that is appropriate for each of these roles.
Be Transparent >> While following politics we find that transparency is hard to find, this can’t be the case in developing healthy, trusting relationships.
Jonah Song!
A good friend of mine, Josh Poore, is serving with the music ministry team at the church at brook hills in Birmingham, AL. They wrote and performed this song as a part of the service on July 4th. I watched the whole service with the message by David Platt, all of it was great, but really wanted to highlight my friend and this excellent performance. Josh is on the banjo and does the voice for Jonah. He’s a super talented guy that was in my first MS ministry in Jackson, MS. If you want to check out the whole service click here: http://www.brookhills.org/video/577/CHRONICLE-PART4-2_VID.mp4
Why I Tweet.
Why I Tweet.
First I’ll share the reason I started. I was talking with a friend about ministry tools and trends and he mentioned twitter. I had previously made an account but never got into it. When it was mentioned as a ministry tool/trend I got back into it and polished up my profile and began to tweet, 2,343 times at this point.
The reason I started is irrelevant, the real question is, why I have continued to tweet? I’ll give the top five reasons I continue to tweet.
#1 >> THE CONNECTIONS >> I don’t have many personal connections through twitter, but the ones that I do have are solid. As solid as they can be across many miles and internet connections. But seriously, connecting with other minister, people that love jesus, and just some random people from across the country has been really cool.
#2 >> THE INFLUENCERS >> There are some really solid leaders that get to real on twitter and put out some great resources. I would have never known about them if it weren’t for twitter. I’ll mention a few that I’m following: @scottwilliams, @tonymorganlive, @willmancini, @maclake, @wvanderbloemen, @tonysteward, @perrynoble .. this is not an exhaustive list, just some influencers that I’ve gleaned from or been sharpened by that may never know it.
#3 >> THE OPPORTUNITIES >> Yes occasionally opportunities will come along that I may have never known about if it weren’t for twitter. The biggest opportunity for me was online coaching with @tonymorganlive. I’ve received a wealth of knowledge, resources and connections through the group. Follow the right people and a whole world of opportunities may open up to you.
#4 >> THE ANSWERS >> I’m not talking about all the answers to the mysteries of the universe, but I’m sure someone would claim to have them on twitter. I’ve tweeted lots of questions while on twitter and very rarely get ignored. It can’t be my one go to source for answers, but I do consider it a “phone a friend” option for me.
#5 >> TO BE HEARD >> I don’t expect for everyone to stop and look every time I say something, but I do like to be heard occasionally. I’ve learned to be responsible (not just adding to the noise), real and join in the conversations that are already happening. Just one small way to practice free speach.
